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Excogitate Podcast Group

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Isaac Johnson
Isaac Johnson

Just Married (2003)

Working-class Tom Leezak and upper-class Sarah McNerney meet up when Tom accidentally hits Sarah with a football on the beach. A few months later, despite opposition from Sarah's rich family, they get married. Each has kept one secret from the other: Tom doesn't tell her that he accidentally killed her dog and Sarah doesn't tell him that she slept with Peter Prentiss, a childhood family friend, after they started dating.

Just Married (2003)

Tom Leezak and Sarah McNerney fall in love and plan to get married, despite opposition from Sarah's uptight, rich family. When they do get married, and get a chance to prove Sarah's family wrong, they go on a European honeymoon and run into disaster after disaster. They have to decide whether the honeymoon from hell and a few pre-marital mistakes are worth throwing away their love and marriage.

Cute little rom-com with minimal romance and a surplus of comedy. I found Ashton Kutcher's character insufferable for the majority of the film's runtime, but I guess that was the idea. I just didn't find myself rooting for this marriage one bit. On the other hand Brittany Murphy was really good here, and stole every scene.

Here are two mismatched twenty-somethings who meet in a bar, move in with one another a month later, come from two completely different backgrounds, get married, and then wonder why they are in trouble. They struggle with the questions: Is this a problem to be solved? Or, is it a clash of values to be understood?

Following their wedding, Sarah and Tom embark on a European honeymoon that is filled with comical pratfalls and painful incidents. For anyone who has been married, there are many scenes here that sometimes hit too close to home.

  • The Ace: Peter Prentiss is rich, is a martial arts black-belt and is very charismatic. Deconstructed when it's made clear that he's a Stalker with a Crush on Sarah and, as Tom makes clear when they try to fight at the climax, he knows perfectly well that Sarah is married because he was right there at the wedding and he still is chasing them around Europe hoping to bang her.

  • Alliterative Name: Peter Prentiss

  • Black Comedy Pet Death: When Tom and Sarah first move in together, he has to deal with her dog Bags, which took an instant dislike to him when they met. Eventually he loses his temper when the dog starts gnawing on his ankle, and randomly throws its ball to distract it... straight through the open window. Bags leaps after the ball and straight into the road, and is hit by a car. To cover for this, Tom later lies to Sarah that Bags was chasing a pigeon. While some animals do survive being hit by cars, the next scene has them standing over Bags' grave.

  • Brick Joke: The stewardess who gets her nose broken by an airplane lavatory door when Tom and Sarah try to join the Mile-High Club.

  • Butt-Monkey / Chew Toy: Tom. He gets hit in the head with a 10 lb ashtray and receives a cavity search in an Italian airport, among other things.

  • Dating What Daddy Hates: Sarah's dad (and pretty much her entire family) hates Tom.

  • Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: Wendy aggressively attempting to push sex onto an unwilling Tom is Played for Laughs.

  • Eagleland: Tom acts like a very stereotypical American tourist who only cares about sports and beer.

  • How We Got Here: The film opens with the couple splitting up after the disaster of a honeymoon and then it returns to show the events leading up to this.

  • Forceful Kiss: Peter plants one on Sarah.

  • Horrible Honeymoon: The film focuses on the disastrous honeymoon of a couple called Tom and Sarah, whether it be shutting down the electricity of the village that they're staying at, or staying at a wreck of a house recommended by Tom's father. It ultimately ends in both a fight which lands the couple in jail and them believing that both have cheated on the other.

  • I Know Karate: Peter tells Tom this. He also pronounces it "ka-ra-TAY".

  • Jerkass: Tom. Also, pretty much everyone in Sarah's family, except her mother. The European lady who pushes Tom and Sarah's rental car off a cliff, then flips them off.

  • Kafka Komedy: Everything that could go wrong for these two, goes absolutely wrong.

  • Mile-High Club: Tom and Sarah try to join it on their way to Europe. It doesn't go well.

  • The Millstone: Kyle, Tom's immature and loud-mouthed best friend.

  • Mistaken for Cheating: Tom and Sarah accuse each other of this towards the end, although to be fair, neither of them were completely innocent.

  • Obnoxious In-Laws: Sarah's family is a picture-perfect example. Their hatred of Tom feels flat-out irrational at times.

  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Tom gets one from Sarah's father and from the snooty manager of the ritzy French hotel they go to.

  • Rich Bitch: Sarah, although her sister is a much better example of this trope.

  • You Can Always Tell a Liar: Tom's flared nostrils are a dead giveaway for Sarah.

SEX/NUDITY 5 - We hear rhythmic moaning coming from a hotel room, as well as the springs of the bed creaking. A man and a woman kiss passionately, begin removing each other's clothing, role over onto a sofa and fall onto the floor still kissing; we see them the next morning when the man gets off the sofa and wraps a throw around his waist (he's bare chested). A man is also bare-chested and in his boxer shorts in an extended scene, and a man's shirt hangs open exposing his bare chest. A woman shoves a man into a room, jumps on him, pushing him onto a bed, gets on top of him while removing her top and bra (we see her bare back) and begins kissing him. A man and a woman go into an airplane bathroom planning to have sex; we see them kissing and trying to get positioned. A man and a woman kiss passionately and moan, a man and a woman kiss romantically in many scenes, and a man and a woman hug and kiss and nuzzle in many scenes. A man in his boxer shorts and tank T-shirt sneaks into a woman's bedroom, climbs into her bed and they kiss briefly. A man and a woman kiss and crash through a wall landing on a bed where a man and a woman are lying, and the man looks at the woman who just landed on his bed suggestively. A woman trips over an easel and men grope her as they help her up. A woman wearing a low-cut top leans over a man in the front seat of a car to access a keypad outside the window and more of her cleavage is exposed. Men and women flirt with each other in several scenes. Women wear low-cut, tight-fitting tops that reveal cleavage throughout the movie: one such woman has coffee spilled on her chest and we see part of her bra, and another woman's top is open to expose bra. We see a portrait of a man who is loosely draped across the hips, exposing his bare chest and bare legs. References to sex and sexual innuendo include: A man opens a package that contains a sexual device; a man says to a woman, "...having sex with a stranger"; there are several discussions about a woman having "had a man"; two men discuss a woman's "roster" of sexual partners, and a woman talks about having had too much to drink and then having sex with a man; a woman's nickname is also a slang for an anatomical/sexual reference and it is spoken repeatedly; people talk about "feeling like it"; a man remarks about the size of another man's endowment, and a woman remarks about the size of a man's endowment; a woman says she slept with a man, a man and a woman talk about using protection during sex, and a woman talks about sexually suggestive gestures; a woman asks a man to have sex with her, a man accuses another man of trying to have sex with his wife, a man suggests that he has had forced sex with another man, and a man talks about another man having had sex with a woman other than his wife. Four men ogle a woman.

Ashton Kutcher plays Tom, a DJ who works the graveyard shift at a radio station where he gives local traffic updates. Brittany Murphy plays Sarah, the daughter of some snooty multimillionaire. They meet, get married and go on the greatest no sex honeymoon ever. Their different backgrounds mean nothing to these two kids in love.

The couple nearly sets a French castle on fire and get stuck in a snow bank in the Alps. All of this is just background as we watch this "perfect" couple discover what every couple in history had to find out for themselves. That there really is no such thing as the perfect mate. We all have faults and learning to live with those faults is what makes or breaks a marriage. In fact, watching this movie with your partner in life is wonderful because you can look at these bickering spouses and see yourselves. You can love the hell out of some one and at the same time be just as mad as hell at them.

I did like this movie, but it could have starred anyone else. Brittany Murphy is as cute as they come. She did some drama in 8 Mile and here does comedy well. Ashton Kutcher is just a doofus. He plays a doofus in That 70's Show. He played a doofus in Dude, Where's My Car?. Holy shades of early Keanu Reeves Batman? Christian Kane, who also played the jilted boy friend in Life Or Something Like, may have a decent career ahead of him if he can break out of that role.

Eric is far too kind in his comments regarding this very unfunny comedy. He's right in that it's possible for any couple to see aspects of themselves in Tom and Sarah's relationship, but just because it's true, doesn't make it funny, or even entertaining for that matter. Where Eric really hit the nail on the head was in his last line when he referred to this as a "Situation Comedy", because that's about the quality of this movie. It's a Sitcom, and not a very good one either.

For this movie to have worked, I would have to have cared about at least one of the people in it. As it is, I didn't. She's pretty, intelligent and yet ditzy, with no real depth, while he's just, as Eric put it, a doofus. Apart from lusting after each other, you just have to accept on faith that these two want to get married. 041b061a72


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